Believe Me, I Love Fashion
... even though I may not look like it
I’m already working on the letters for April, in preparation for the MET gala (yay us!) which made me think about how I have also been fashioning my identity through fashion based on this year’s theme. Long before I launched my Substack, I quietly consumed fashion content for my own pleasure, and when I would share this with people in person, I appeared incredibly out of sync with what was expected from a “true” fashion lover. There was a severe difference between my dull choice of clothes and my enthusiasm for the intense fashion moments.
I began exploring various aesthetics and recreating popular Pinterest looks that carried the value of what I thought I wanted to be perceived as, but none of it was a true reflection of what I loved, how I wanted to express and present myself. I then decided to take a no-buy year after watching plenty of YouTube videos trying to teach me how to find my personal style and even then, it has taken almost five years of extremely slow consumption, to find what I actually like. I have also shared my journey of no longer consuming clothing made with synthetic fabrics on my last Bad Thrift Fatigue and that also contributed to the slow and intentional curation of my wardrobe, as it significantly limited options within my price range.
Bad Thrift Fatigue
I have been thrifting all my life. Growing up overlooking one of the largest open-air markets in Kenya; Toi, (or to some Adams- OGs know the difference), meant that a simple walk turned into a shopping spree.
So, for the most part, I dress in seemingly “boring” clothing, displaying an inverse relationship to the fashion knowledge I have realized over the years. It is ironic to post this after writing my last article covering my favorite street style stars. I now realize that as much as I like to look at photographs of them, it is mostly an admiration of their ensembles instead of a desire to recreate them.
I find comfort in knowing that some of my favorite fashion journalists and designers share my simplicity when getting dressed. Take Jonathan Anderson for instance. On the Fashion Neurosis podcast by Bella Freud, she asked about the outfit he chose to wear for the episode. It was a shirt he thrifted in New York at the Front General Store, a pair of Levi’s, and Salomon trainers. The way he dresses himself is laid back in comparison to the designs he sends down the runway, stating that he loves a uniform and feels the need to be a blank canvas to enable him to project his creativity onto others.
Jonathan represents just a drop in the ocean of some of my favorite creative designers, who have very simple personal styles while churning out season after season of complex, intricate, and creative designs down the runway.
Now that I write and share my letters publicly, instead of the burning desire to buy more clothes, my engagement with fashion has certainly transformed. I no longer feel the need to look off-duty chic to be validated as a fashion writer and scholar. It has brought me great peace to accept that I am not an Isabella Blow or an Anna Piaggi and not feel the need to use dressing alone to express myself. In my rotation of Levi’s jeans, simple shirts, loafers, and the occasional animal print, I am enough. I have chosen to foster my real interests and continue to appreciate the techniques used to make clothes and immerse myself in its history while developing good taste from the films I watch and the books I read.
In this way, I have unintentionally fashioned a uniform for myself that isn’t worth emulating but has brought me great joy and simplified the process of getting dressed. I know what I love and have no fear in repeating it over and over.
Fashioning your own identity no matter how long it takes insulates you from the world of fashion, a place where for the most part you can never be skinny enough, pale enough, your hair not straight enough or skin not clear enough. I’m boring I know, but for now, I live for the fantastical possibilities I explore with every film, every book and every couture runway season.
Maybe a week from now this will feel like an experiment and my preferences will have changed, until then...
